He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
