if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
