remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
