We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize