I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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