i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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