Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize