a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
