Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
