It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Houston, we have a blender
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
