she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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