I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
