Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
