gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize