some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
