WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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