My liver just broke up with me...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
