You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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