dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
