Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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