The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
