I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
