You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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