I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
