Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
