just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
