Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All the doctor said was why
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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