I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
