I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
