The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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