But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
