dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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