I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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