Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
