i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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