She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
