So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
