When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
