dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
