If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
