Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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