I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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