That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
