She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
high people should be assigned attendants
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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