I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
