Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just gift wrapped bread.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize