i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
