OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
