There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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