so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
