i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
