Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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