Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
