just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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