Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
