I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just found puke in my bra..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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