There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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