Me too!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
