U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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