I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
